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Yesterday I got the following Myspace message. My profile clearly states I am straight and there is nothing at all alluding to me having even the smallest amount of gayness in me:

hey can i just suck ur cock sometime?….. i will give u the best bj u ever got and u dont have to touch me or do anything in return…. all my clothes stay on….. i just swallow then leave …. no one ever knows and i wont bother u ever again ……… Im 22 and in Naples and can send a pic of me getting fucked if you are interested

My reply:

Hell no! First of all, how are you going to give me “the best BJ ever” without me touching you? I assume your grotesque lips will be on my dick. Second of all unless you have some kind of mind altering drug, there will be atleast two people that know this distgusting act had occured. You, and Me. Third of all, what part of the word “straight” in my profile makes you beleive I want to a) see a picture of you with another guys penis inserted into your pooper, or B) participate in gay sex with you?

How about I make you a proposition instead. You find the hottest GIRL you possibly can, for starters about 5′4″ and 110 pounds, blonde hair, blue eyes. She gives me the best BJ ever, and I’ll think about letting you watch from at least 20 feet away in exchange for $1000.00.

Deal?

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